Half-Light / Embers
I. Half-Light
I am a ghost in my own skin,
a flicker between breaths,
hanging on to the edge of a pill
as if it were a cliff’s root,
white-knuckled and ashamed.
The night tastes of iron and static;
my thoughts scatter like birds
spooked from an empty field.
I don’t want to live.
But I don’t want to leave
the few who still reach for me
in the dark.
Their care
is a small, steady lantern.
I see it through the fog
and hate myself
for dimming it.
This body, this mind,
wired to ache and unravel—
it whispers quit.
But something,
a pulse,
a memory,
a thread of light
keeps whispering stay.
I don’t call it hope.
I don’t call it healing.
It’s just a ragged, trembling breath
that keeps me here,
a half-light for the half-living,
waiting for a dawn
I cannot yet imagine
but haven’t quite
let go.
II. Embers
And yet—
beneath the ash,
a coal still glows.
Small as a heartbeat,
but warm enough
to thaw one fingertip at a time.
The night does not last forever,
even when it feels endless.
It is stitched with stars—
tiny, persistent lights
that do not demand my joy,
only my noticing.
Their lanterns
are not dimmed by my darkness;
they hold them steady
so I can find my way
back to myself.
I am not the wound
but the one still breathing through it.
Not the ghost
but the one still reaching
for a hand, a word, a dawn.
And maybe this half-light
isn’t failure—
maybe it’s survival.
A fragile, fierce thing
that says:
stay.
rest.
wait.
there is more.
*If you’re hurting right now: You are not alone. If you’re thinking about suicide, feeling hopeless, or just need someone to listen, help is available 24/7. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — trained listeners are there anytime, day or night. If you’re outside the U.S., visit https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/ to find hotlines in your country.
You matter. Your life matters. Please reach out.
Comments
Post a Comment