What's in a Name? The Essence of Identity and the Deep Significance of Our Names

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”

Shakespeare's Juliet famously pondered the intrinsic value of names, suggesting that the essence of an object—or person—remains unchanged regardless of its designation. However, for many, including myself, a name is not just a term but a profound reflection of identity, heritage, and, crucially, the self we choose to present to the world.

This profound soliloquy invites us to ponder the significance of names. Have you ever considered the story behind your name or imagined how different your life might be if you had another?

In the tapestry of human culture, names are imbued with significances that extend far beyond their phonetic expressions. While most people in modern Western culture receive their names at birth, chosen by parents who haven't yet met them, naming conventions vary widely across cultures and history. For instance, many Native American tribes have traditions where a child's name is chosen years after birth, reflecting the child's personality and actions. In some African cultures, the circumstances of birth influence naming, while various East Asian traditions involve astrological or ancestral elements in the naming process.

Among the most poignant narratives in our modern understanding of naming and identity come from the transgender community. For many transgender individuals, choosing a new name is a pivotal step in affirming their gender identity. This act of renaming can be a powerful declaration of self-determination, a shedding of an identity that no longer (or never!) fits, and an embrace of a true self long unrecognized or suppressed.

Consider the psychological impact of a name change in this context: it's not merely an administrative task but a profound influence on one’s perception of self. The right name can provide a sense of alignment and authenticity, offering a new lease on life where one's external identity mirrors their internal truth.

However, this journey is not without its challenges. The legal process of changing one's name can be daunting, costing hundreds of dollars in court fees and many months or years of filing name change requests. Additionally, societal acceptance is not always forthcoming. I can say from personal experience that the distress caused by being 'dead-named' rivals that of the body dysphoria that leads to our transitioning in the first place. These hurdles underscore the importance of friends, family, and society at large showing empathy, support, and advocacy in the fight for everyone’s right to be recognized for who they truly are - and I am truly thankful for the friends and family who have embraced me as the woman I am, and not only the man they thought I was.

For me, transitioning to Danielle Paisley Dilger was not merely a change of label but a profound affirmation of my identity. This name, now etched on my birth certificate, was a choice I made at 31, marking a significant milestone in my journey of self-discovery and affirmation. It was a deliberate choice that mirrored my internal transition, embodying the femininity, personality, and faith that define me. In my quest for a name, I sought something that resonated with my essence, a name that would reflect my femininity, my personality, and my devotion to living authentically as a woman aligned with her faith in God. I aspired for a name that was distinctive yet not outlandish. I desired a name that could be shortened. In my case, 'Dani' offers an androgynous familiarity to ease my loved ones into this new chapter alongside me. The initials 'DPD' were anchors from my past I chose to retain, providing a subtle continuity amidst profound change.

Let's delve a little deeper into the layers of meaning within "Danielle Paisley Dilger":

·       Danielle: This name exudes classic elegance and depth. Derived from the Hebrew 'Daniel,' meaning "God is my judge," it connects me to a lineage of wisdom and integrity, reflecting traits I aspire to embody. While my name is French in its spelling and pronunciation, the name Danielle is popular across cultures, and suggests resilience, intelligence, and a strong moral compass.

·       Paisley: Beyond its aesthetic appeal, Paisley is a nod to artistic expression and cultural richness, evoking the intricate, teardrop-shaped designs that originated from Persia and India, and popularized in the West in the 18th and 19th centuries. It represents a bridge between tradition and modernity, infusing my identity with a sense of creativity and uniqueness, yet tied to the Old World. Just a fun fact, I almost chose "Piper" for a middle name, and might have been just as happy with that name as I am with Paisley :)

·       Dilger: While I didn't choose my surname, it represents my roots and connection to my heritage. The German or Anglo-Saxon origins of "Dilger" hint at a lineage tied to specific professions or locales, symbolizing a legacy of tradition and belonging. My family has been largely accepting of my transition, and I'm thankful to have a name that aligns me in community with them. 

The synthesis of these elements in "Danielle Paisley Dilger" portrays a person who is not just anchored in her roots but also vibrant with creativity and grace. It's a name that reflects a confluence of heritage, personal evolution, and self-expression. I hope I can live up to the intention and meaning behind my name.

This journey of renaming, however, is more than personal introspection—it's a dialogue with society, a declaration of identity in a world that often resists deviation from the norm. The process, fraught with legal and societal hurdles, is a testament to the courage and resilience required to live authentically. It underscores the need for empathy, support, and recognition from friends, family, and the broader community.

As I navigate life as Danielle Paisley Dilger, I embrace the multifaceted nature of my identity: a blend of tradition and self-discovery, of heritage and personal evolution. It's a name that tells a story, one of overcoming, becoming, and belonging.

So, I invite you, the reader, to reflect on your own name's story. What narratives does it hold? How does it connect to your identity? And for those embarking on their own journeys of self-discovery, remember: your name is your mantra, a declaration of who you are and who you choose to be.

In the words of a father to his nonbinary child, "Gifts are not obligations. You give things to people, and you hope they like them. And your name was a gift from us to you. If it doesn't work for you anymore, you're not obligated to keep it." This profound statement resonates deeply with me, underscoring the belief that our names, while given, are ours to embrace or change in pursuit of authenticity. I hope that my parents are not too hurt that I ultimately replaced the name they gave me with one that suits me better, but I will stand behind this statement that none of us are obligated to keep things, even names, just because they were given to us.

In embracing "Danielle Paisley Dilger," I embraced a name that encapsulates my journey, values, and the essence of the woman I am and continue to grow as. It's a testament to the power of naming in our quests for identity and authenticity. Let's celebrate the stories our names tell, recognizing their profound impact on our lives and identities.

Through the act of renaming, we not only declare our true selves to the world but also invite others to see us as we are, in our fullest, most authentic light. Let's honor the journeys behind our names, for they are the narratives of our lives, the badges of our experiences, and the most personal expressions of our identity.